“Three Wives, Three Children, and Three Countries!”
Recently, under the grand mission of “Building a New Nepal,” our government has brought such revolutionary policies that you’ll laugh until your stomach hurts just reading them.
It’s Gai Jatra — we’re allowed to speak, so let’s speak! After all, “What harm is there to the boss?”
1. Three Wives Policy – New Definition of Women’s Empowerment!
The great “Boss’s” government is preparing to legalize polygamy.
One wife will manage the home, the second will work abroad, and the third will run the social media front.
Now, every husband will be like a king — at least in photographs!
And they’ll be singing, “Tu khich mere photo… pyaar se zara…”
Some leaders will say, “Even wives need job security. So if we legalize multiple marriages, women too will get ‘permanent positions.’”
Citizens will start saying, “Boss, polygamy is fine, but we don’t have money for weddings. The government should give us marriage loans — or else, return the chair!”
2. Three Children Policy – Produce Before 30, Party After 30!
The government’s golden rule: before you turn 30, have as many children as you can — at least three, or you’ll face “national shame.”
After 30? Relax and sip tea in a plantation estate, humming, “Listen darling, we’ll have fun after thirty; if you’re tired, I’ll get you two or three more to help…”
These days, when visiting their maternal home, youngsters talk about government policy before asking about their mom’s health:
“Mom, before I hit 30, I must have three wives and at least three children. The government says it’s the new form of women’s empowerment!”
3. Remittance – The New National Religion
Produce children → Send them abroad → Earn dollars!
The government’s final warning:
“Beware! Anyone caught using family planning tools will face immediate blackout of lights, have the items seized, and be sent to prison.”
So the official slogan is:
“Make babies, send them overseas, bring dollars home!”
Gai Jatra Government’s New Educational Curriculum
- Mathematics: How to send 3 children to 3 different countries.
- Health: Wife management and time scheduling.
- Moral Science: Being satisfied with one wife is outdated thinking!
Citizen Freedom List
What you are allowed to do:
- Have as many children as possible! At least three before 30.
- Marry multiple wives — otherwise, manpower export will drop!
- Spend 24 hours on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. Go live, be “relevant,” but never talk politics!
What you are NOT allowed to do:
- Criticize leaders or government work — not even in dreams!
- Enter politics — it’s the hereditary property of leaders who’ve served at least 14 years in prison.
- Use family planning — child production = national production!
Special Freedoms for Leaders and Government
- Unlimited freedom to misuse power and be corrupt — no file moves without commission.
- Rule citizens for their own benefit — pay taxes but get no service.
- Hold lifetime power — from birth to death!
Conclusion
Nepal is moving into a new era.
We no longer walk the path of “Education, Health, Employment” — we proudly march toward “Wives, Children, and Remittance.”
It’s Gai Jatra — laugh, because crying won’t help.
Government’s Revolutionary Slogan:
“Three wives, three children, three countries — let’s remove quarrels between co-wives to build a prosperous Nepal!”
jaai jatra !